Conversations at Gymnastics Class
While I was at Claire's gymnastics class the other day, a woman asked if she could move an empty chair next to me. Yes, no one was sitting in it. Then she paused for a few seconds and asked, "I hope you don't mind if I ask, but are you going through treatment?" (I had my purple hat on.) I told her that yes, I was. She went on to tell me she had been through it too and how she just wanted to let me know that she knew what a difficult time this could be that things would get better and basically just offer encouragement and hope. We chatted for a bit about having no hair. She said hers did come back gray, but it was a lovely blonde color now thanks to her hairdresser. I asked if she took Tamoxifen but she said no, her cancer was triple negative (which means it was negative for the hormone receptors, thus Tamoxifen would have no benefit). Triple negative is more difficult to treat for this reason. She said she had been cancer-free (what they call no evidence of disease - NED) for seven years now and her oncologist said the chance of it returning was greatly diminished... that most recurrences happen within three years and she was well past that mark. I appreciated her taking the time to talk to me and share encouraging words.
Conversations in the Shoe Department
The day after my gymnastics encounter, I was looking for cute flat sandals that I could wear to work... anything that I can easily slip off and on but that aren't a flip-flop. As I browsed a woman, stopped to ask if I was going through chemo. She had been through it too a few years ago. Like the other woman she offered her empathy with my situation and an assurance that I would get through it.
Conversations in the Check-Out Line
I was checking out at Fred Meyer the other night when a couple got in line behind me. They were kind of an odd couple... the woman was very tall, quite loud and boisterous, and look pretty tough with strong arms and several tattoos. The man was short and not nearly as loud. I think they were talking about the senior citizen discount or something and the woman was going on about being so old and that she just couldn't believe she was 60, she never thought she'd live to be so old and she thought she'd be dead by now. As I heard that I kind of thought to myself it wasn't a very nice thing to say as you were standing next to cancer-girl in her little cap (although she probably hadn't even noticed). Then all of a sudden she started ripping off her sweater (that's when I saw her arms/tattoos) and making the man hold it. She grabbed a credit card application and started violently fanning herself and said something about once you hit 50 it's all downhill from there. I told her I could sympathize and that I get to have hot flashes, too. Overall it was an odd conversation but kind of entertaining, too.
Another Conversation at the Check-Out Counter
Perhaps I have been mistaken to assume all people typically assume "cancer" when they see a bald woman. I was at Macy's the other day to make an exchange and I was au-natural with my bald head/no hat. The woman in front of me was pretty chatty with the clerk, and then she said to me something along the lines of, "I hope you don't mind me asking but did you shave your head for chemo or just because you are bold. You look great." Turns out she was a former hairdresser and used to have several clients who had gone through chemo and yada-yada. I told her that I was not so bold, but had shaved it for chemo since it was all falling out.
And these are the kinds of weird conversations I get to have now (but not for too much longer!)... one day I will be on the other side of this and have hair again and when I see a woman who does not, will approach her and offer my encouragement? Or will it be too emotional an awkward for me to do that? I suppose it will just depend on the unique situation.
No comments:
Post a Comment