5 years!

The 5 year anniversary of my surgery (when I officially became cancer free according to all pathology reports) passed on Jan. 7th.  It didn't even cross my mind!

I only remembered because a friend was having a much more complicated reconstruction surgery a few days after that and when I was thinking about her and sending healing thoughts into the cosmos, only then did I realize the 7th had passed.  Of course I had all my chemo and radiation after my surgery, so the anniversary of getting through all that is still several months away... but actually I don't even remember the exact date I completed all that.

When you are going through treatment and surgeries and appointment after appointment after appointment, it seems like your life will never be the same (which actually is true) and that a day will never come where you don't think about cancer every day... but that part isn't true!

I was so happy to be able to tell my friend that day will come for her someday! 

I don't think about it most days... then you hear a friend or friend of a friend has been diagnosed, or someone famous has died, or your kids do something really sweet or amazing, or you see an amazing sunrise, or hear one of your favorite songs, and something ticks, and you remember how thankful you are to be healthy.  Which in turn reminds you of what went through in the past and how scary it really is (and unfortunately, you then remember it is still scary now as well).

Or my favorite reminder, when you run into an acquaintance who you rarely see and barely know, and they look at you with genuine concern and pity in their eyes and ask, "How are you?  Are you ok?" And then they tell you what a Strong and Courageous and Amazing Woman you are.  They might even give you an awkward hug.  To that person, I am still Cancer Girl and probably always will be.  Oh well... I know they mean well, but it always makes me shake my head a little bit.

So anyway... 5 years down!  Although Dr. Chandran said she counts "anniversaries" by the date you finished all your treatment/surgery so I guess I should look back and figure out that date so I can properly celebrate later this year.  Once that date comes it means I only have 5 more years of tamoxifen to go!  I remember when I was first starting the medication and 5 to 10 years sound SO FAR AWAY.  Now I'm halfway there.  Lucky for me I don't suffer from side effects like many people so I'm more than happy to take it and lessen my chances of ever having to go through it all again!